Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
