What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
