I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
