Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
