she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
