Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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