I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
