At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
