"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
