My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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