I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
