How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
