Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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