Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
