we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
