i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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