I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i think we sleep fucked last night...
is it fun? or sober?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
