make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
