He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
