I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
