At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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