I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
