That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
