I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
