I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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