Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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