Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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