how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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