please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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