this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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