I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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