I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
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