Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
