Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize