ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
