When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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