Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
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My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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