Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
