Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
