The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
