Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize