Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
