Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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