I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
