So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
