you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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