Did you just see the Batmobile???
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize