Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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