I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
