mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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