When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
