she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
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At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
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I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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