I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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