Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I touched a dick in church today
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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