Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
