Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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