I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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