It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower