i don't like sucking hair
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes