Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

I hraet yuo

(862): View more from New Jersey

did you say you heart me or hate me?

(518): View more from New York

who is this?

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(708): View more from Illinois

Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy

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(817): View more from Texas

I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?

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(571): View more from Virginia

Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.

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(410): View more from Maryland

She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick

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(775): View more from Nevada

So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.

(775): View more from Nevada

I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.

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