Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.