Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator

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  (503): It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator http://tfl.nu/0fh7
  Replies (2) Good night (1183) Bad night (672)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them

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  (617): were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them http://tfl.nu/uwjn
  Replies (56) Good night (5068) Bad night (794)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license

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  (813): i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license http://tfl.nu/t0ir
  Replies (13) Good night (5589) Bad night (698)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm never eating chinese again.

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  (215): yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night. (215): i'm never eating chinese again. http://tfl.nu/0tg8
  Replies (11) Good night (924) Bad night (4522)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor

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  (402): I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor http://tfl.nu/v346
  Replies (2) Good night (2600) Bad night (921)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.

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  (770): She is just riding on my slutty coat tails. http://tfl.nu/ci3j
  Replies (6) Good night (2378) Bad night (1003)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..

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  (701): Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover.. http://tfl.nu/al9t
  Replies (9) Good night (1684) Bad night (1079)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!

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  (313): I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! http://tfl.nu/x69b
  Replies (9) Good night (1671) Bad night (654)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I learned so much about myself in that shower.

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  (517): I learned so much about myself in that shower. http://tfl.nu/jhiq
  Replies (7) Good night (1047) Bad night (462)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.

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  (402): Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains. http://tfl.nu/xruv
  Replies (8) Good night (1476) Bad night (555)
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  (310): View more from California

  yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies

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  (310): yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies http://tfl.nu/gofo
  Replies (3) Good night (1082) Bad night (491)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant

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  (217): yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant http://tfl.nu/oubr
  Replies (4) Good night (741) Bad night (437)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just had sex on a roof

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  (425): I just had sex on a roof http://tfl.nu/d0im
  Replies (4) Good night (748) Bad night (342)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.

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  (815): Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one. http://tfl.nu/esdd
  Replies (3) Good night (160) Bad night (295)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now

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  (330): I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now http://tfl.nu/e05x
  Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (208)

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