where does the pee come out of this thing
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
