i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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