I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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