It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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